PERMISSION TO JUMP SHIP SIR, ME AND THIS SENSEI BUSINESS IS NOT WORKING OUT.
Did I ask around a month ago for a Christian Sensei? Man you wouldn’t believe what I am going through now. I’m whacking my darn self, feel free to laugh at me with me. I thought God would have sent me a little old Chinese Christian wise man, but nooooo, God had to show up for the job Himself. Well hot dang. I should have used that moment to bolt away faster than Usain Bolt!
If I knew then what I know now, I’d have kept my yappy mouth shut and not ask for that. I’m all ‘senseid’ out. This is living torture for me!!! Why did I have to open my trap?
Talk about some serious discipline and work. I thought when the itinerary was initially laid out before me that I could just jump through it quickly. I tend to apply too much passion when I want something real bad, and I quickly sign myself up to my own detriment. I had no idea what I was in for. The physical part of this is nothing short of a nightmare.
Now there is not a day I don’t want to jump off this ship. And I can’t even swim. I’m such a mess. I mess up every single day. I don’t even think I’m doing a great job or even being a great student physically at all. Just sign me out now and I’ll happily take a Z minus grade.
Still yet however, on the flip side spiritually, the results are unbelievably out of this world! I get a taste of seeing and understanding the FULLNESS of God in ALL HIS GLORY! God wanted me to do a discipline test to show ME where I was lacking. He wanted me to learn how the physical interacts with and affects the spiritual. And for now until I fully learn it, where I show up weak, HE shows up strong for me and takes over! Hallelujah! But the work you have to put in? No wonder you don’t see too many takers! Everyone wants the results without having to put in the work, so they get nowhere.
Thing is, in this whole Sensei hullo-bo-loobo (that’s my word for ‘crap’, yes this is exactly how I feel about it and I cannot lie)… I’m too far in. I can’t turn back now and waste all this work I had put in as messed up as it is, and then have to start all over from the bottom? No sir, not me. I’m going all the way even if I have to drag my bag to and over the finish line.
And then the memo just came in from Sensei Yahweh… “Dione, you finally completed one-third of the journey”
Wait, did you say ONE THIRD???? I have TWOOOOOOO more rounds of THISSSSSSSS??? Oh that does it!!!! SOS!
“MAN attempting to go OVERBOARD!” The ‘poop’ just got real!!!